Challenge & Celebrate: Do Not Tolerate

At the Rainbow Hamlets' Hustings for Tower Hamlets Mayor, I heard variations of the word 'tolerance' more times in an hour than I've heard at any other time. Mayoral candidates spoke of everything from 'tolerating' lifestyles to creating a culture of 'tolerance'. Derivations of the word  were used in political catchphrases aimed at engaging a group of  LGBTI potential voters, while creating a political context dominated by heterocentric discourse. Every time a candidate said they wanted to promote 'tolerance', it was another marker of the power structures of hierarchy that promote condescension in place of celebration.

The Oxford Dictionary tells us that to tolerate is to:

'Allow the existence, occurrence, or practice of (something that one dislikes or disagrees with) without interference'

Or to:

'Accept or endure (someone or something unpleasant or disliked) with forbearance'

So to teach tolerance is to teach people:

• To allow
• Not to interfere
• To accept or endure

It shows a superior position over the aspect of life which the person is tolerating. I can tolerate an irritating noise. I put up with it. I can stand it. It is tiresome. It can be hard to endure. I accept noises are a part of the world I live in. 

I never tolerate people. 

It only goes one of two ways. People have the right to behave as they do as long as it doesn't impinge on others (including my own) rights. There is nothing I expect to do or feel if this happens. However if their behaviour does affect others' rights, I challenge that behaviour. I do not tolerate.

We may  tolerate the bad behaviour of our children while they learn, while we are in positions of power with responsibility for their welfare,  but we also challenge their behaviour so they can learn.  Anyone, at an age of maturity who is able to make decisions for themselves are not to be tolerated. They are past the stage of their development where they should accept being patronised as if we know better. They should not tolerate anyone of us thinking it is up to us to allow them to behave in the manner in which they behave. They do not need our acceptance. And if their behaviour is such that we consider we must endure it, we must challenge it. 

Challenge and celebrate, do not tolerate.

C.3.3: 120 Years Ago Today

Irish author, poet and playwright Oscar Wilde, was sentenced to two years in prison with hard labour on the 25th of May 1895, because his identity as a gay man was equated with the criminal offence of 'gross indecency'.

It has taken 120 years for Ireland to look for marriage equality for the Wildes of today, and although 62% voted YES, 38% still voted NO. There is some movement but not enough or fast enough.

Oscar Wilde wrote many great works like The Importance of Being Earnest and  Picture of Dorian Gray and children's short stories such as The Happy Prince. The following verse is a glimpse of the epic poem,  the Ballad of Reading Gaol , the last thing he wrote before he died:

'I never saw sad men who looked

With such a wistful eye

Upon that little tent of blue

We prisoners called the sky,

And at every careless cloud that passed

In happy freedom by.'

 Oscar Wilde 1897

This verse could refer to Wilde or anyone in prison, physically or figuratively. So many people in the world today are prisoners of their circumstances or the context in which they live. And we are all the prison guards, in our actions, words and inaction.

Today one more door in one more jail lock is opened. Perhaps one day we can throw away all the keys.

Note: In prison Oscar Wilde lost everything including his name, he was referred to as C.3.3.

The Forecast is Love

 62% YES Vote for Marriage Equality in Irish Referendum

Guardian Article on Irish Referendum:
Guardian article on Ireland being first country to obtain marriage equality by 'popular vote'.

Irish Marriage Equality Referendum post:
Things That Matter: Equality 

Things That Matter: Equality

'Our lives begin to end the day we become silent about things that matter.'

 (Martin Luther King, cited by Halligan, May 16th 2015, Irish Times)

Irish Tv journalist and political correspondent, Ursula Halligan ended a 54 year silence with the above quote. With the Irish referendum on marriage equality only days away, Halligan revealed her secret self, which had been hidden away in a diary from when she was 17.  She hopes her story will not only help get a YES vote for marriage equality, but save other 17 year olds like her from the pain of repression, injustice and inequality.

Read Article here: Ursula Halligan: Referendum led me to tell truth about myself